You Know You’ve Been Watching Too Much BeastMaster When...

All these pertain to BeastMaster in season one.

You try to pay for your groceries with “shiny stones”

You are watching a polo match on TV and wonder why the riders aren’t dressed like Terrons.

You actually know the difference between Kodo and Podo.

Your pet runs/crawls/flies/swims away and you want Dar to help you get it back.

You can quote episodes word for word.

You go to the zoo and wonder why the tiger won’t answer to “Ruh”.

You always make sure to sleep with your mouth closed.

You hear a loud BOOM and look around expecting to find Curupira.

You go through a fast food drive-thru and can imagine the Sorceress taking your order and wonder what the Ancient One would look like in a hair net.

King Zad reminds you of Mr. Clean on a bad day.

You wage bets on when the Sorceress' breasts are finally going to fall out of her gown.

You get color-coordinated acrylic nails to go with all your outfits.

You see the word "shark" and swear there must be an A missing.

You refuse to use a road map because some of your best days have been spent lost on the highway.

You want to tattoo the nearest donkey to look like King Zad from "Rescue".


The following submitted by Kc

1.) Your friends, who've only seen one episode, can tell Kodo and Podo apart. By their squeaks.

2.) When your cat walks over to you and sits down and just stares, you ask "What do you want?" expecting an intelligent answer.

3.) You get one.

4.) Whenever you see a garden, you hope Dar hasn't seen it.

5.) You get violent whenever someone refers to BeastMaster as "just a show."

6.) Your friends get violent when someone says its just a show.

7.) You see falling down as a good thing... Tao's good at it so it must be....

8.) When your mom asks if you want to go to the mall, you gather up all the "shiny stones" in the house....

9.) This reason is too adult to post but it has to do with Dar, Tao, Ruh and 34 shots of vodka....

10.) You write a top ten list kinda like this one.....


The following from SapphireMage

You expect an Eiron jade ring with your diploma!

Your cockatiel looks at you and says "hello"... and you ask "How was your day?" expecting an answer.

You plan your vacation for a trip to the Mydlands and hope not to run into any Terrons.

Your tape collection for Beastmaster requires its own bookshelf because you're taping in SP and EP.

Someone asks where are you from, and you answer... "The Middle of the Earth I think."


The following from BeastWatcher

You're in the produce section of the grocery store and the sign advertising "DARling Clementines" catches your eye.

Your sister, who doesn't watch as much as you do, calls her fellow employee Zad although his name is Zyad.

You realize you're smiling like Dar.

You go outside and hear a bird screeching, so you look upwards expecting to see Sharak.

You're sweeping the floor and all of a sudden you start twirling the broom like it's your staff weapon. Of course, Tao could twirl it better than your can!


The following from Deb Taylor

When you see a Leann Rimes video in passing, and wonder what Emilie de Ravin is doing on CMT.

When you meet a person with a ferret as a pet, and wonder if it's Kodo or Podo.

The squeaking of a chair sounds like Kodo and Podo, and you wonder how they got in. . .and if they brought Dar and Tao with them.

While watching 'Stargate: SG-1,' you have an out-of-show experience.

Watching a show on the Animal Planet, you keep wondering where Dar is, since they could REALLY use his help.

You hear someone taunting, 'Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me,' and think, 'Don't let Curupira hear you say that!'

You trip over your own feet for whatever reason, and think, 'now Tao won't feel so bad.'

While watching 'JAG,' you notice that the actor playing the Australian lieutenant is named 'Goddard' and you wonder if he's any relation to Daniel Goddard (even if they look nothing alike).

On your way to work, you pass a sign with the surname of 'Darr,' and think, 'Wait a minute. That has one 'r' too many, who screwed it up?'


The following from Grace Macy. Check out her BeastMaster humor section!

You find yourself naming local stray cats after main characters and then naming characters after the stray cats.

You find yourself wondering what brand of "Windex" the Ancient One uses to clean his crystals.

You see a see-saw and you immediately start looking for the fire-pits.

You have a sudden urge to play chess . . . with yourself!

You find yourself arguing in your Historical Geology class that eagles actually came before dinosaurs because Sharak told Dar he'd been around for millions of years.

The Visine commercial warning you about red eyes takes on a whooole new meaning

You decide Smoky the Bear is one of Curupira's agents because he's been warning people about a Burning Forest for years now.

You want Dar to communicate with your dust bunnies, but you're afraid of what they'll say.

You wonder when Sharak took over duties for the Stork.

Contributions always welcome! Email me if you have something to add.

Keeper of the Mydlands

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